


He Deserved This

by Fangodess



Category: Beauty and the Beast (2017)
Genre: Abuse, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Gaston bashing, M/M, Physical Abuse, Suicidal Thoughts, gaston/lefou is the abusive one
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-07-26
Updated: 2017-07-26
Packaged: 2018-12-07 07:09:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11618538
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Fangodess/pseuds/Fangodess
Summary: LeFou reflects on the way Gaston treated him and fears he is doing the same to Stanley.





	He Deserved This

**Author's Note:**

> This has abuse both physical and mental and suicidal thoughts so be careful.

Maybe He Deserved This  
He was 7 when Gaston gave him the name LeFou. He was 3 years younger than Gaston so Gaston had always acted like he should be honored he was even allowed around him. He knew he wasn’t supposed to approach Gaston around other people, it really was LeFou’s fault. He had practically embarrassed him letting them know that Gaston would be friends with someone like him.  
“Gaston, Gaston,” he cried running up to the boy with excitement in his eyes.  
The boy turned around and immediately looked angry when he saw LeFou, “What are you doing?” he growled low grabbing him by his arm and dragging him violently.  
“I… I’m sorry,” he stuttered his eyes growing wide terrified. He shrunk back in fear trying to appear small tears pooling in his eyes.  
“What did I tell you about approaching me in front of other people? Do you want to ruin my reputation?” he snarled.  
“I… I’m s… sorry. I d…didn’t mean t…too,” he stuttered lip quivering as he shook and tears began to fall.  
One of the other boys, Harry he thought, sauntered forward, “Who’s this Gaston?”  
“No one,” Gaston said quickly, shoving Etienne to the ground hard, “Just LeFou,” he turned and began to walk away.  
“The fool,” harry said staring down at him in disgust, “A fitting name,” he spits at LeFou before turning and leaving a stunned hurt LeFou on the ground staring blankly after Gaston wishing he would have defended him but it really was LeFou’s fault. He shouldn’t have come up to Gaston like that. Why did he have to be such a fool? He deserved this.  
***  
The name never left him, he was pretty sure no one even remembered his real name. Sometimes he would just lie awake at night repeating his name over and over again until his voice cracked and he had no sleep. Then maybe at least one person would remember it, even if it was just the fool remembering his own name  
***  
They go off to war and he knows no one knows his name and maybe it would just be easier for him to forget it too. Maybe he should just become the fool, that’s what he is. That’s all he is to everyone else. Why should he remember what would be easier to forget? Why should he bother anyway? He was just the fool after all.  
***  
They had lost many men in the battle that day and Gaston went storming back to the tent with LeFou trailing reluctantly behind him, he knew what was coming when he entered the tent. He was already bruised and battered but he knew he would take more, for Gaston he would do anything.  
So, when the tent flap closed and Gaston rounded on him he just took it without hesitation. He stumbled back slightly as Gaston hit him in the chest hard. He fell to the ground as Gaston struck him across the face.  
“Disgusting,” he growled kicking LeFou in the stomach, “You are nothing but a worthless, good for nothing fool. I don’t even know why I don’t just kill you,” he growled continuing the assault on LeFou. LeFou just curled tighter protecting all of the areas that Gaston could accidentally kill him if he hit wrong. He didn’t even know why he was bothering, he deserved to be dead.  
***  
He tried to stand up to Gaston once, of course he did. It was after the war ended and he could stop defending Gaston’s actions of that of a man driven by the pains of war. When the abuse stopped being justified by the loss of men or the horrors of war. When it just became abuse.  
One day they are sitting in LeFou’s house when LeFou suddenly blurts out, “Maybe you could stop hitting me.”  
“What?” Gaston practically growled looking up at him suddenly face hardening.  
“I… um… just… maybe you could not hit me as much. I just sorry it’s just not great and sorry it was just a suggestion,” LeFou stuttered seeing how angry it made Gaston.  
Suddenly Gaston’s face changed it went softer around the edges, “LeFou, I am so sorry. I can’t believe I was so stupid.”  
“It’s okay just… just stop,” LeFou stuttered.  
“I’m a horrible person. How could I have done that to you,” he said, “Maybe I should just go. We shouldn’t be friends anymore if I’m so awful for you.”  
“No… no I didn’t mean that. I’m sorry,” he stuttered frantically.  
Gaston stood, “I just I shouldn’t be around you if I’m like this. Why should I be around if I’m so awful? I’m such an asshole,” he said headed towards the door.  
LeFou lunges forward frantically, “No, no, no, I’m sorry. I’m sorry, I didn’t mean it. I’m sorry. I don’t know why I said it please don’t leave,” he stuttered desperately trying to get his only friend to stay.  
“No, I’ve been awful and I don’t want you to hurt any more. You said it yourself, it’s not great, I’m not great for you. I shouldn’t be here. I’m just an asshole,” Gaston said continuing to walk.  
“No! Please don’t leave. I’m sorry I didn’t mean it. I was just overreacting its fine. You can do whatever you want. I deserve it anyway. I’m sorry. I’m just being the fool everyone sees me as. I’m sorry please don’t leave. I won’t bring it up to you again. I’m sorry,” he babbled desperately grabbing at Gaston.  
“I guess. If you’re sure I’m not too awful to you,” he said.  
“No, no, I’m sorry I even brought it up,” LeFou stuttered frantically.  
Gaston sat back down smirking. LeFou wished he could say after that the abuse stopped but that would be a lie.  
***  
Gaston was drunk the night he broke LeFou’s wrist. He lies when people ask how it happens. He tells them he fell, like the fool he is. He’s supposed to help hide the monster Gaston is. That’s why he takes this, why he takes all the abuse, because he’s protecting Gaston. So, he tells people he fell down the stairs, its unconvincing. He wishes someone would notice how unconvincing it is. He was begging for a way out for someone to notice that he was hurting. Then suddenly someone did.  
“Mon deau, LeFou what did you do to your arm?” Stanley gasps.  
“Oh I… um I fell,” he stutters over the lie that should sound far more convincing considering how many times he’s told it.  
“Why are you lying?” Stanley asks, “you didn’t fall. No fall you could take in Villeneuve could possibly make you break only your wrist. How did you break it? Did someone hurt you? If they did tell me. I’ll stop them,” Stanley practically growls.  
“No!” LeFou shouts there is no way he will let Gaston hurt Stanley because he’s trying to protect LeFou from something he deserves. He was never meant to be protected he is a wicked twisted thing that deserves to burn and he will not let pure innocent Stanley burn with him, “I just fell,” he again insists quieter looking down this time.  
Stanley looks skeptical but doesn’t know what to say. Finally, he reaches out and take LeFou’s non-broken hand and says kinder than LeFou deserves, “If you ever need anything just say the word and I’ll take care of it. I would do anything for you.”  
This causes LeFou to recoil and horror to cross his face before Stanley can ask what he said LeFou has gasped out, “I have become like him,” and has taken off through the village leaving Stanley stunned and confused.  
***  
LeFou spends the next three days locked in his house refusing to see any one. He barely eats he doesn’t deserve that. He’s become worse than Gaston. Somehow, he manipulated Stanley into caring for him so much he would do anything. Gaston at least did that to someone who deserved it, LeFou deserved to be treated like that, but Stanley, Stanley didn’t deserve any of that. How long before he starts to hurt Stanley just like Gaston does to him. He wouldn’t do that right? Gaston only does it to him because he deserves it but Stanley is amazing and beautiful and pure he doesn’t deserve it. Finally, on the third day he has convinced himself he’ll find a way to stop Stanley from caring about him and he would never hurt him because he doesn’t deserve it like LeFou does.  
***  
Stanley spends those 3 days worried out of his mind trying desperately to figure out what he had done. When LeFou finally emerges, Stanley is so relieved he nearly collapses.  
He immediately runs up to him when he sees him in the square that day and begins apologizing, “whatever I did I am so sorry LeFou. Sometimes I speak without thinking and whatever I did that caused you discomfort I apologize,” this seems to only cause LeFou more pain as horror again crosses his face.  
Stanley was apologizing to him. He was making him apologies for something he didn’t do. When had he done this, he hadn’t meant too. He didn’t want to manipulate Stanley. If he could do it accidentally than what if Gaston hadn’t meant to this whole time? What if what he was doing to LeFou wasn’t his fault? of course it wasn’t Gaston’s fault, it was all LeFou’s if he was just less of a fool or if he didn’t humiliate Gaston so much than maybe Gaston would be nicer.  
His thoughts were cut off by Stanley’s voice, “LeFou? Are you alright?”  
“Yes, yes I am fine. You have no reason to apologies. I’m sorry if I worried you,” he said turning quickly on his heels. He had to find Gaston, he hadn’t seen him in three days. He was bound to get what he deserved for disappearing and not being at Gaston’s beck and call. He deserved this. He needed this to keep himself from thinking that he didn’t.  
***  
“Etienne!” a voice screamed cutting through his thoughts. He was suddenly reminded of where he was. He wasn’t back at the village. Gaston was still dead. he was in the castle, with Stanley in their shared quarters, he was safe.  
“I’m sorry. What did you say?” he asked blushing because he hadn’t been listening.  
“I called your name like 10 times and you’d been unresponsive for a while before that. are you okay?” Stanley asked kindness in his voice, taking his hand.  
“I’m fine,” he mumbled looking down. Hiding his feelings was never really a habit he ever broke despite Stanley trying to get him to with kind words and gentle encouragement.  
“Etienne,” Stanley said softly in the voice that he knew meant that he didn’t believe him.  
“Am I ever like Gaston?” he asked in barely above a whisper.  
“What?” Stanley said practically recoiling in shock.  
“I just I can’t stop thinking about him and that day in the village, after I broke my wrist, you said you’d do anything for me, you still say it to me a lot. That’s something I would have said to him so what if I manipulated you into loving me and… and then after that you apologized for something you didn’t do. I used to do that to him he used to make me feel like I had too. What if I’m like him? What if I hurt you like he did to me? But I think some part of me knows that I won’t ever because you don’t deserve it. I deserve everything he did to me. I am sick and twisted and disgusting but you are beautiful and kind and pure and I am dragging you down. If I burn I’m terrified you will burn too. Then what? Who will I be? I will be a monster. I am a monster,” he said practically screaming by the end.  
Stanley sat their shocked not knowing how to reply. The room was silent except for Etienne’s heavy breathing.  
“Oh god I’m so sorry,” Etienne began to apologies trying to fix what he had said. He had yelled at Stanley. Oh god. What had he done? This was something Gaston would have done, yelled at him, “I’m sorry I’m so sorry Stanley… I didn’t mean to yell at you. You don’t deserve that I’m sorry I didn’t mean… I’m so sorry,” crap what if he was just guilt tripping him. Trying to make him apologies for something he didn’t do again.  
“No, no, don’t apologize,” Stanley said walking around and kneeling in front of Etienne’s chair taking his hands gently and guiding him to their bed. Once they had sat down on the mattress and Stanley had successfully wrapped his arms tightly around Etienne not wanting to ever let him go he asked softly, “Do you really feel that way?”  
This question seemed to surprise Etienne as he didn’t respond for a few seconds, “Everything I said about me yes,” he said it breathlessly as if he was too exaighsted or ashamed to say it any louder.  
“I don’t even know where to start my dear. You never deserved any of that you are kind and beautiful and the fact that you took that for years without complaint shows how strong you are. You are also nothing like him. I understand how a lifetime at the hands of his abuse could cause you to fear that you are becoming like him but you aren’t. I’d do anything for you because I love you, I always have, and I know you would do the same for me. I’m sorry about that day in the village that was not my intention I was just so scared. No one had seen you in three days and I knew it was my fault, I knew it was because of something I said but I didn’t know what and I just wanted to fix it. I was terrified that I had said something that would ruin our friendship,” Stanley sighed pausing her to take Etienne’s hand and lace it in his.  
He continued slowly but with passion, “You are also not some, what was it, sick, twisted disgusting thing? You are one of the most kind-hearted, beautiful people I have ever met and you are in no way holding me back. I’d be honored to be allowed to burn with you because I’d rather go down in flames together than live without you. I love you so much Etienne, more than you’ll ever know but I intend to try to show you how much every day, and I care about you so much. You are amazing and kind and you never deserved any of the way Gaston treated you. I am so sorry you had to go through that but now it’s over and I’m here to help you through it. I’m going to protect you and I will never let it happen again but I am also going to help you see that what he did to you was wrong and you didn’t deserve it. You never deserved it. All you deserve is love and affection and every good thing life has to offer and I intend to try to give you all of that because that you deserve,” he had been to terrified to look at Etienne’s face throughout his declaration but when he finished he looked up and saw tears rolling down his face.  
“I’m sorry did I say something wrong. I didn’t mean too…” Stanley started trying to stop the man from crying by figuring out what he did wrong.  
“No, no you didn’t do anything wrong. That was amazing and I don’t know how you can possibly think any of that about me but god I want to learn because I think eventually I’ll believe anything you tell me,” Etienne exhaled in an almost laugh before continuing, “and god I love you so much,” he said before pulling his hand up to Stanley’s face and kissing him firmly. This didn’t fix anything. Etienne still had no way of knowing if he would ever become like Gaston or if he would ever get over Gaston but maybe with time and Stanley he would. Maybe he would be able to be free of Gaston’s ghost. Maybe he would realize he didn’t deserve that but this he did deserve this.

**Author's Note:**

> This is so Grammatically incorrect... I'll fix it later when I have time


End file.
